August 14, 2009

A little while back, Blog Azeroth had a shared topic on “Why are there so many/few <insert class> blogs?”. Personally I just answered that question in my own head after a few seconds. “It’s fun and interesting and you learn. And apparently, if you’re a resto druid, you have a gene forcing you to blog about it. Yes.” That was really the end of the story there. But then it hit me. “Why on Earth ain’t there more blogs about races?” I mean. I could easily blog on about how friggin’ amazing the Forsaken are, if given enough caffeine and patience.

First of all, one of the best things about us undead babes, is how we do our first steps out in Azeroth. To make a little contrast, I’ll first look a bit on how the Tauren are given life. They just pop on in Mulgore. Imagine taking a little stroll in those lush and calm fields, and suddenly, POP! There’s a tauren standing next to you, whimpering a little moo into the air and looking more than just a tiny bit baffled. I mean, where’s the logic in that? Every minute a little POP! fills the air of Mulgore, followed by what I can imagine must be a rather confused little moo. I would’ve crapped my shitty lvl 1 tunic i I were a tauren, suddenly just existing in the middle of some grassy fields with no knowledge of anything.


So, let’s now look at us, the undead sweethearts of Azeroth. When we’re born, we’re not really born at all. Or, maybe you could say we’re born again. The thing about being a forsaken is that we don’t just POP! and go “Moo?”, we just yawn and wake up after a pretty harsh sleep. We’ve been minions of the Scourge, ripping the guts outta our families and such, and now we’ve decided to prance around in the world again. Therefore, our beginning consists of us crawling out of a crypt, snarling at the visions of daylight yet again. Isn’t that just perfect? Then we head out into the streets to blow the head of what might’ve been our siblings, lovers or neighbours before the plague. I mean. That’s got some magic to it, don’t you think?

While scratching my head for a little while now, I think I’ve actually solved the mystery of the lack of race blogs out in the blogosphere. Could you imagine a tauren starting a blog about its own race? “Hello. I’m MooMoo the cow, and one day I just went POP!.” I’m not sure how many readers that would attract, other that more taurens commenting on it with “Omg, mooo, me to. That so happened to me last week, moo!” And then, let’s look at the forsaken. What would you have done after lying in a smelly crypt for ages? Rip the rotting heart of your old family and friends, or blog about it?

Case closed, yarr?


Reasons to keep it up

July 30, 2009

Sometimes I log onto WoW and feel a bit tired at what I see. I see my character pop up in Azeroth, only to face the same old gold sell spam in Orgrimmar as usual, the dull pugs with no sense of how to even kill a dying squirell, and the same old landscapes I’ve seen so many times before. I hate those moments, they really chew large bits out of the charming glow I know WoW can have. And as the kind sould I am, I will try to prevent you from having these moments aswell. How? Well, let me just introduce you to the fab litte list i like to call

5 things that makes Azeroth worth visiting over and over and over again.

(and over and over and over again some more. And some more. And then some.)

1: The guild chat

I’m dead serious. To me, the guild chat is an infinite source of laughs, giggles, grins and smiles. It might be that my guild consists of some of the most amusing and strange people I’ve met in game, or that I’m damn easy to cheer up, but when people type /g before they speak, the outcome is usually golden. With glitterig hearts around. Really, if I would be forced to play World of Warcraft without the legendary /g talks, the game would wither up and die for me. I need the insanity, the random people and the even more random comments. Not too tight with your guild? Pop a cold beer, squeeze out a half-hearted joke, and life will treat you good in no-time.

My example of guild chat win is the following screenshot, done when a poor guildie near died at his computer, due to what seemed to be insane pains in a odd part of the body:GuildChatWin

2: The thrill of the fight

Even tho just watching the guild chat for hours can be quite thrilling alone, there’s nothing like those seconds at the end of a hard bossfight, when you can count down the percentage of his health, dangerously getting closer and closer to zero. Will the dots be strong enough? Will the tank stay alive, will he healers have enough mana, will the dpsers keep it steady enough, will the enrage timer tick down slow enough? All those questions racing through you mind while you have to bounce out of fires, void zones, angry adds, really makes my heart beat a tiny bit faster. I love a good fight, I love to feel the sweet taste of progress in a raid. I mean, it’s a game called World of Warcraft. I need the feeling of war and kills every now and then. I need the war.

3: The eye-candy

People nag on about how old the graphics in WoW are, ranting about the magic and pixealted sexyness other games offer. Well. I love the looks of Azeroth, I really do. Lately I’ve found myself sightseeing large parts of Northrend by air, every day discovering more beauty, more eye-capturing details. As I said, I need the blood and death of the war to keep this game up. And the gorgeous scenes I stumble upon from time to time make such a terrific contrast to just this. The more I stare at the shiny looks of Crystalsong Forest, the more I enjoy trying to fry off the tenacles of Yogg-Saron. The more I gaze at the details in Grizzly Hills, the more I enjoy the dark corners of Ulduar. So tired of the same old raid sights all the time? Crawl up on your mount and do some sighseeing. I’ll do you good.LorienCrystalsong

4: The bugs

Uh. Whatthehell? Yes, one of the things that makes me giggle in Azeroth, are all the bugs the game can offer. “Holy crap, I walked through a wall, fell 70 yards and ended up on the back on a Kodo with two heads and a pretty foul smell.” It’s normal, it’s normal. And that makes it even more fun.

In one of my last Ulduar runs, I suddenly found myself dead. Doesn’t sound that strange, does it? Well, I found my corpse in Obsidian Sanctum. I just giggled, ressed and ran back to my raid with a huge grin on my face. When really funky bugs happen to me, I almost feel special. “Oh my God, the bug chose me!”

5: The love

Okay, so I keep my ass in this game because my guildies rub chili pepper on strange parts of their body. I’m staying so I can bite my nails seeing the HP of Yogg-Saron crawl down towards zero, and because there’s pretty pixels to stare at in this world. But you know what? The number one reason, the one yelling at me every time I log on and look around, is the damn love. It’s the people I’ve gotten to know while playing, on both good and bad. It’s the ones I can talk nonsense with at Vent, the ones that won’t go silent when I giggle out terribly bad jokes. They’re the ones making the game shine.


So, these are my reasons to not uninstall WoW every time it looks dull. These are the ones that cause me keep it up in Azeroth, and fights me away from picking up new hobbies. Like knitting. Or collecting shoelaces. What are you reasons?

You know how new places usually has a little tint of inspiration to them, a little fresh breeze of new ideas and thoughts? Well, that’s how my new job is at the moment. (I do take care of people for money tho, so the fresh breeze isn’t the most common thing when I think about it. More a little flow of ideas, floating on a wind of prune juice and adult size diapers. But yes.) The thing is, walking around with grannys and wheelchairs really got me thinking about how the world’s gonna look like when this mouse-clicking, keyboard-bashing gamer generation grows old and wrinkled.

Currently we have retirement homes stuffed with a set of old people that grew up with war, potatoes and hard work. Coffee with some dry cookies is the best snack, and if you can’t talk about the weather for an hour continously you’re weak. If you’re even thinking about picking up a hobby, there’s really no use bothering to do anything but knitting. That’s them. Now what about us?

Even tho I haven’t been employed for more than a few days, I must say I’ve started to imagine how people easily could replace that line of knitting baskets with a nice set of computers. Or how one of the countless coffee sessions the old peeps have during a day, easily could be pimped up a little bit by introducing them to Red Bull and Mountain Dew. Because, thinking about it, I’m damned sure old people won’t stay like old people are now, when my teeth fall out and my body starts sagging. The world’s evolving, and most of us that are young now don’t even go a day without internet and all sorts of handy gadgets. I’m just curious of how we’ll take it with us when our hair turn gray and and having teeth is the kind of luxury few of us care about.

Just imagine, about ten or fifteen 80-year-olds sitting on a line, roaming around in Azeroth while sipping on a can of prune flavoured Red Bull. They’re all dressed up in stretchy pants and diapers while nuking the shit out of Arthas’ grandson, and it’s ages and ages ago since they dinged level 180. I’m kinda flirting with the thought now. Tempting, no?