July 26, 2009
Last night I joined a Naxxramas 10 pug for fun, consisting by quite a few decent players on the server. We broke every boss record I had saved from when my own guild did Naxx, and all in all it was a great run. Shooting a competitive look at the damage meters every now and then, I could proudly admit to doing pretty allright DPS. And then it hit me. Holy freaking shit, I’ve actually evolved as a player. Me, Karazhan-queen of pugs, has taken a few steps forward. Holeeh. Shiat. It was strange. I’ve always just been thinking about myself as “just there” in raids, and suddenly I had something to compete with. This good and glorious revelation got me thinking.
Pulling out a more than reasonable DPS set my mind back to the days when DPS was a thing I’d never heard of. It took me back to the time when a specc consisted of putting an equal amount of talent points into each tree. (I mean. If putting them into one tree was good, putting them into all of them had to be superhuman.) And yes, it put me back to the days I spammed general channel with just “LFG”, as I wanted to tell the world I was looking for a guild. Strangely, they all laughed at me. My loneliness in WoW remained a mystery for me for many, many levels.
Yet I kept on with my discovery of Azeroth. Looking back at how my game went at that time, I’m incredibly amazed by how I did not just decide to roundhouse kick my computer into the wall in frustration. As I’ve been leveling up my alt a bit these past weeks, I’ve discovered even more about how much I missed of WoW on my first character. I mean, I never knew what Wailing Caverns was. And that RFC they all spoke off, wasn’t that some kind of drink? Low level-instances passed me by, and I never even knew a second that they existed. However, upon actually discovering my first instance, Uldaman, nobody can say I didn’t try my best. Hell, at one point I recall doing the dungeon ten times a day, thrilled that I actually could interact with people in WoW. Yes, World of Warcraft, the MMO, suddenly showed me what those two capital Ms represented. I couldn’t get enough.
I shared this story with a random guy I met while running around in the Scarlet Monastery the other day, and he almost didn’t believe me. “You played WoW like that, and didn’t give up on the game?” It never even hit me to abandon on my discovering back then. Every new turn I took, I noticed something new, I learned something fresh. I gained knowledge of how reporting sights of hostile Alliance players was a good thing, but retarded when yelling about how I spotted them in Southshore. (I was young and stupid, and oh-so-proud to be the first to announce they location in general chat.) I learned how mobs with that golden frame around their portrait, usually was equal to the term “fucking annoying bitches”. Everywhere I turned my rotten and undead little face, new facts lurked in the shadows.
Sometimes I lean back and think of these days. And you know what? There are occasions I miss them. Every now and then I wish I could be okay with equipping agility-weapons on my mage, and just be proud because it was a blue item. Every now and then I actually do.