Goodbye for now

September 16, 2009

As my remaining readers most probably have noticed, updates on this blog have become as common as pigs flying by while humming the theme from A-team. Just not that likely to happen every day. I’ve wanted to write this post for a log time now, but I really haven’t had the time to sit down, relax and actually do it. Putting down the words here would not only be a sad story, it would also put the last nail in the coffin of my WoW-career.

Because, well. I’ve quit WoW. Permanently? No idea.

I’ve loved the game for years, and we’ve had our ups and downs and damn great times. However, me and gaming is not a thing that currently is working out. My life takes too much time atm, with travelling and having fun. Soon I’m going to Africa for a month, (with Europe and Asia coming up aswell,) with both bungee jumping and rafting on the schedule. How much it might pain me, Azeroth is no longer my second home.

In the end tho, I want to thank all you guys out there who took their time to read my blog. I know there were quite a few towards the end, and that was one of the hardest factors when putting this blog to sleep. I’ve had a blast, hope you had aswell.

Take care,

greetings from Lorïen/Naïve/Consolea


…there will be updates!

I will be back here for more blogging sexiness, I will sneak back for Warcraft goodness. I will come back to love the whole return of Onyxia, I will giggle about the fun I imagine people have at Blizzcon. And I sure as hell will be back to ramble on about how we all should gather in huge and angry mobs to lit fire to all goblins in Azeroth.

I just have to move first. I’m crossing a country with my computer and thoughts, they’ll be even more tasty when I settle down and get online again. I swear. On the frozen ass of Arthas. Oh yeah, I went there.


August 14, 2009

A little while back, Blog Azeroth had a shared topic on “Why are there so many/few <insert class> blogs?”. Personally I just answered that question in my own head after a few seconds. “It’s fun and interesting and you learn. And apparently, if you’re a resto druid, you have a gene forcing you to blog about it. Yes.” That was really the end of the story there. But then it hit me. “Why on Earth ain’t there more blogs about races?” I mean. I could easily blog on about how friggin’ amazing the Forsaken are, if given enough caffeine and patience.

First of all, one of the best things about us undead babes, is how we do our first steps out in Azeroth. To make a little contrast, I’ll first look a bit on how the Tauren are given life. They just pop on in Mulgore. Imagine taking a little stroll in those lush and calm fields, and suddenly, POP! There’s a tauren standing next to you, whimpering a little moo into the air and looking more than just a tiny bit baffled. I mean, where’s the logic in that? Every minute a little POP! fills the air of Mulgore, followed by what I can imagine must be a rather confused little moo. I would’ve crapped my shitty lvl 1 tunic i I were a tauren, suddenly just existing in the middle of some grassy fields with no knowledge of anything.


So, let’s now look at us, the undead sweethearts of Azeroth. When we’re born, we’re not really born at all. Or, maybe you could say we’re born again. The thing about being a forsaken is that we don’t just POP! and go “Moo?”, we just yawn and wake up after a pretty harsh sleep. We’ve been minions of the Scourge, ripping the guts outta our families and such, and now we’ve decided to prance around in the world again. Therefore, our beginning consists of us crawling out of a crypt, snarling at the visions of daylight yet again. Isn’t that just perfect? Then we head out into the streets to blow the head of what might’ve been our siblings, lovers or neighbours before the plague. I mean. That’s got some magic to it, don’t you think?

While scratching my head for a little while now, I think I’ve actually solved the mystery of the lack of race blogs out in the blogosphere. Could you imagine a tauren starting a blog about its own race? “Hello. I’m MooMoo the cow, and one day I just went POP!.” I’m not sure how many readers that would attract, other that more taurens commenting on it with “Omg, mooo, me to. That so happened to me last week, moo!” And then, let’s look at the forsaken. What would you have done after lying in a smelly crypt for ages? Rip the rotting heart of your old family and friends, or blog about it?

Case closed, yarr?

I promised you I’d continue on my story of my rather short and traumatic career in WAR. And, it took me a bit longer than expected, (due to trauma ofc,) but here it is:

The next thing I had on my list to do while playing WAR, was to test the PvP. I mean, all I’ve been reading is how fabulous the PvP in WAR was supposed to be, so not checking it out would’ve made me look a bit silly. I don’t wanna be that silly little blogging-girl, so I jumped in with my sexy little BoobElf head first and aimed to kill all that threatened to oppose my confused caster skills. Actually, I had a great deal of fun. The know-it-alls of WoW were lacking, and I felt was this tight feeling of doing some good piece of war with my comrades. I’ve never been much of a PvP person, but to some extent I dare say I enjoyed it more that the PvP Azeroth can offer me. Somehow I have a feeling it’s because the game’s still a bit fresh. People haven’t had the time to grow into know-it-all bitches that moan about everything you do wrong. They helped me, gave me tips of what they thought would make me better. That sure felt new.


However, things kinda went a bit downhill from that. After looking a bit on the gameplay and surroundings, I again headed to gaze at my character. “Let’s have some fun you and me, little BoobElf.”, I said to myself and typed /smile. Aww, she smiled at me. Maybe she wasn’t that bad after all, this elf with friggin’ huge balconies, melons, whatever. So I decided to take our relationship a step further and typed /dance. Oh, the outcome ruined WAR for me. Did she possess a dance so awful I’ve been stuck with a raging headache and bleeding eyes since that very moment? Did her dance consist of her flinging poo at the NPCs nearby, while screaming like a mad monkey? Oh, no. No, no, no. It was so cruel, it’s hard to write it down. She refused. The emote just told me how that stuck-up pair of boobs declined on my invitation to dance for me. I just gave the monitor and angry stare and logged off.

An hour later tho, I decided to give the game a new chance, a fresh beginning between BoobElf and me. Maybe we just had a little rough start? To ease things up a bit, I decided to continue on my questing. Things went pretty decent, I dare say. I killed some lions, hunted down some ladies. All in all, I was starting to get my hopes back up. Until that quest came. That evil, sinful quest that made my own naughty affair with WAR look like a fluffy little dream. At the moment I find it hard to say what they made me do in that quest, the scars run so deep it’s tearing my soul apart at this very moment. Oh God. They made me.. /cry, THEY MADE ME KILL UNICORNS. Unicorns, the source of all good in the world, (next to rainbows and glitter,) now had to face death in the shape of a BoobElf and dark magic. I was devastated. And to this day, I dare say I’ve never played Warhammer: Age of Reckoning. Never, never again will innocent unicorns face death by my hand. Never again will I slay these creatures of glitter and good. Never again I tell you, you sadistic game named Warhammer, I will no longer slay the innocent horn-horsies for you!

I’m back at WoW now. And hell, it did as I predicted. I love WoW even more now. It doesn’t tell me to shed the glittery blood of unicorns. It doesn’t refuse to dance when I’m in the mood for some fun. Wow, darling, hunny bunny, I’m coming home. Covered in the blood of unicorns, I need your blizzards and riptides and hurricanes and holy light to feel whole and cleansed again!

Let me google that for you

August 10, 2009

…or, did you google something to get here? I just had a look at the statistics at my blog, and noticed what words people have searched on to get here.

I bring you top-statistics:

tentacles, elf, magic, warlock, story, sex, crystalsong forest, goldsell.

One of the words people have searched the most on to get here, is “tentacles”. Combined with the word “sex”. I mean, I can only imagine the despair one must feel, probably hoping to find a, hmm, “a magic story in crystalsong forest, with a warlock elf indulging in tentacle sex.” And what you end up with, is me flirting with WAR and moaning about my tier 8.5 gear.

I would’ve cried like a baby.

So, here I am again. Back from my sinful journey of betrayal, my travel through a world I never thought I’d be a citizen of. I’ve cheated on my mistress, my WoW, letting my hands grope all over that tempting little Warhammer: Age of Reckoning. Well, now I’m done. And truth to be told, I have a feeling I’m going to stay pretty darn faithful from now on.

The first thing I noticed about WAR was the amount of sexiness I suddenly found myself possessing. I accidentally flipped my camera wrong at the very beginning, so my introduction with my character was boobs. Boobs and a skirt. (I’m used to my little undead mage-lady. I’ve got cannibalism as a racial. Lacking some sexiness there, gotta say.) I’m guessing a lot of of people would love to be the next top model/Jenna Jameson of MMOs, but I really just felt a little bit weird. All the macho men ran around me in pretty decent covering robes, and I had to be a murderer in underwear. First impression? Feeling a bit odd, but yet curious.


The last character I brought to the world of Azeroth was a Tauren, which means I spent a little while running curiously around great green plains of Mulgore grass. Truth to be told, I was kind of expecting the same here, just with less cow and zen-like nature. Hell, was I wrong. It felt like as if the creators of WAR said to themselves “Fuck this easy and plain shit WoW’s got going on. We’re not going to be like that. We’ll top whatever they’ve got. And multiply it with a million!” From the very beginning of the game BoobElf and me faced a world filled with what felt like everything. So many NPCs, so many icons, so many… things.I was so stunned, it took me a few minutes so actually get into action. It’s really nice that WAR’s aiming for a start without boring moments, that’s for sure. But I don’t know if stepping into maddening chaos is the best way to enter a MMO.

After getting my act together I started to peak around a bit tho, trying to check out the graphics surrounding me. I’m used to hearing people mock the looks of WoW, so it would only be fair to check out what I’ve been missing. And I can’t really say that it felt like that much. Sure, somethings looked pretty allright. Looked a bit more realistic than Azeroth, yarr, sure. But I think that’s what set me off a bit. After playing on a little bit, it struck me how much I really love the looks of WoW. I’ve never put much thought into it before, but without knowing it, I’ve fallen deeply in love with the graphics Blizzard has granted its biggest MMO. I thank you for that WAR, you’ve opened my eyes on that field.

Yet, I must say, playing WAR have scarred my soul in such a way, I find it hard to just stay breathing. Why? Just for you, I’ll update with it tomorrow. It really has broken me as a person. Really.

(I this where I roar “Stay tuned!” with a really excited and tempting voice?)

How to fail at betrayal

August 5, 2009

So, I’ve been trying my very best to cheat on WoW the past 24 hours. Somehow I feel that karma reads my blog tho, as does a good job to keep me faithful. Because, well, as things are now, that damned WAR won’t work on my computer. It feels like I spent a whole day downloading the game and patches, and when I finally could fire it up, it just crashed and died. I’ve tried Google, I’ve tried punching my fist through my keyboard. Nada help in both solutions.

Therefore, to update it my experiment so far:

WoW: 1 point WAR: 0 points

Me, the betrayer?

August 4, 2009

Sometimes there are things that feel pretty damn hard to admit to. Like the time I realized I liked tanking. As a person who’s never even talked about anything than spamming fireballs and arcane blasts her whole WoW-life, that felt pretty horrible to me. Melee was like sooo not my thing. Liek totally. Sigh, apparently it was. And I had to take back all the bad thoughts I had produced over the years, about melee being totally shit. This time tho, it’s worse. “Oh?”, you might say with worry in your voice and shivers down your spine. “What on earth could that be?”, you might question, with fear in your eyes and chills in your blood. I’m not sure I dare to say it.

Allright. I’m watching a downloader right now. The most probable thing here, would be that I was staring at the background downloader for the 3.2 content patch, that’s due to go live tomorrow. You’d expect me to glare at the patch notes yet again, cheering at the new druid skins and a whole new raid to see my mage die a millions of ways in. As scary as it might seem, I’m not. I’m, uh, well, kinda watching the downloader to the 10-day trial of WAR. Yes. Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning. A MMO that’s not World of Warcraft. I repeat, I’m downloading a game with orcs and goblins, and it’s not WoW. Spooky, ain’t it?


“Holy freaking chicken on a stick, have you gone mental?”, you’re asking? Oh no no, not at all. I haven’t even stopped loving WoW for the fraction of a second. Actually, what I’m doing, is an experiment to boost my love for Azeroth and it’s magic even more. You see, WoW was my first flirt with MMORPGs, and have more or less been my love since that day. Sure, I’ve watched my boyfriend toy around in both Guild Wars and Age of Conan, but I’ve never really cared much about those games. WoW’s been my thing from the very start. However, after feeling the love for my mage grow even more after tanking on my druid, I’ve been curious about how this could be tried out on other platforms . So, now I’m going to try another MMO, to see if I can fall any deeper in love with WoW. (Oh, the sweet taste of logical thinking. The girl loves one game, therefore she will play another one. Great strategy, great.)

I’ve been browsing a little on races and classes in WAR now, and it seems the game’s got kinda the same factions feels like WoW; one evuuuhl evuuuuhl faction that’ll destroy everything and everyone on any given occation (fittingly named, well, “Destruction”.) And as you might’ve figured, the other faction’s what appears to be a gang of nice guys looking for order and peace and all that dull crap. (The name of the faction? Just as exciting as they sound: “Order”. What was that, yawning in my blog are we?) I think my choice was made even before I thought of WAR tho. I’m going for the evuuuuhl ones. At the moment I’m thinking Dark Elf, as the other two classes are Greenskins (they have goblins. ‘Nuff said.) and some pretty decent monster-people that just don’t feel like my thing. I’m going for sadistic elf in leather bikini.

How will my feelings for WoW change after trying out that legendary grass on the other side? Will I ever be able to go back to Forsaken, after strutting around as evil sex with cleavage from here to infinity and beyond? I’m a bit nervous here. But hey, one needs to explore to grow. And now I’m like a scared little sheep, sniffing at that faintly glowing green grass on the other side of the field. Baaaah?

…or not. Really.

A few days ago I finally got my tier 8.5 chest, and felt pretty pleased with it at the occation. I bounced around the rest of my raid, and couldn’t wait to jump into a new and fancy dress. Well. That was until I got my cheerful litte ass back to Dalaran to buy the sexy new garment. I’ve never felt so stupid as a mage. Never.

Where the hell is my pretty-pretty magical caster dress? I’ve heard a few people nag on a bit about the looks of the gear, but I never really got it until now. And the whole thing is, not only does it look like I failed at washing my chest piece in the laundry and shrunk it down to a baby-size top, the lack of skirt on the robe also lets the pants sneak out. Oh, wait, did I happen to say pants? Sheesh, no no no. I’m a badass fighting flamethrowing, arcane spamming caster that fight ancient gods. I do it in shorts!


I mean. Come on Blizzard. Come. On.

Reasons to keep it up

July 30, 2009

Sometimes I log onto WoW and feel a bit tired at what I see. I see my character pop up in Azeroth, only to face the same old gold sell spam in Orgrimmar as usual, the dull pugs with no sense of how to even kill a dying squirell, and the same old landscapes I’ve seen so many times before. I hate those moments, they really chew large bits out of the charming glow I know WoW can have. And as the kind sould I am, I will try to prevent you from having these moments aswell. How? Well, let me just introduce you to the fab litte list i like to call

5 things that makes Azeroth worth visiting over and over and over again.

(and over and over and over again some more. And some more. And then some.)

1: The guild chat

I’m dead serious. To me, the guild chat is an infinite source of laughs, giggles, grins and smiles. It might be that my guild consists of some of the most amusing and strange people I’ve met in game, or that I’m damn easy to cheer up, but when people type /g before they speak, the outcome is usually golden. With glitterig hearts around. Really, if I would be forced to play World of Warcraft without the legendary /g talks, the game would wither up and die for me. I need the insanity, the random people and the even more random comments. Not too tight with your guild? Pop a cold beer, squeeze out a half-hearted joke, and life will treat you good in no-time.

My example of guild chat win is the following screenshot, done when a poor guildie near died at his computer, due to what seemed to be insane pains in a odd part of the body:GuildChatWin

2: The thrill of the fight

Even tho just watching the guild chat for hours can be quite thrilling alone, there’s nothing like those seconds at the end of a hard bossfight, when you can count down the percentage of his health, dangerously getting closer and closer to zero. Will the dots be strong enough? Will the tank stay alive, will he healers have enough mana, will the dpsers keep it steady enough, will the enrage timer tick down slow enough? All those questions racing through you mind while you have to bounce out of fires, void zones, angry adds, really makes my heart beat a tiny bit faster. I love a good fight, I love to feel the sweet taste of progress in a raid. I mean, it’s a game called World of Warcraft. I need the feeling of war and kills every now and then. I need the war.

3: The eye-candy

People nag on about how old the graphics in WoW are, ranting about the magic and pixealted sexyness other games offer. Well. I love the looks of Azeroth, I really do. Lately I’ve found myself sightseeing large parts of Northrend by air, every day discovering more beauty, more eye-capturing details. As I said, I need the blood and death of the war to keep this game up. And the gorgeous scenes I stumble upon from time to time make such a terrific contrast to just this. The more I stare at the shiny looks of Crystalsong Forest, the more I enjoy trying to fry off the tenacles of Yogg-Saron. The more I gaze at the details in Grizzly Hills, the more I enjoy the dark corners of Ulduar. So tired of the same old raid sights all the time? Crawl up on your mount and do some sighseeing. I’ll do you good.LorienCrystalsong

4: The bugs

Uh. Whatthehell? Yes, one of the things that makes me giggle in Azeroth, are all the bugs the game can offer. “Holy crap, I walked through a wall, fell 70 yards and ended up on the back on a Kodo with two heads and a pretty foul smell.” It’s normal, it’s normal. And that makes it even more fun.

In one of my last Ulduar runs, I suddenly found myself dead. Doesn’t sound that strange, does it? Well, I found my corpse in Obsidian Sanctum. I just giggled, ressed and ran back to my raid with a huge grin on my face. When really funky bugs happen to me, I almost feel special. “Oh my God, the bug chose me!”

5: The love

Okay, so I keep my ass in this game because my guildies rub chili pepper on strange parts of their body. I’m staying so I can bite my nails seeing the HP of Yogg-Saron crawl down towards zero, and because there’s pretty pixels to stare at in this world. But you know what? The number one reason, the one yelling at me every time I log on and look around, is the damn love. It’s the people I’ve gotten to know while playing, on both good and bad. It’s the ones I can talk nonsense with at Vent, the ones that won’t go silent when I giggle out terribly bad jokes. They’re the ones making the game shine.


So, these are my reasons to not uninstall WoW every time it looks dull. These are the ones that cause me keep it up in Azeroth, and fights me away from picking up new hobbies. Like knitting. Or collecting shoelaces. What are you reasons?